After almost a day of not being able to reach C. by phone, my instincts told me to go by the apartment we had rented for her and her three children. When I drove up and noticed her car was gone, I knew in an instant that she - and Little Baby - were gone.
Initially, I was certain she was for real and that this adoption was a sure thing. Then little by little, and certainly in retrospect now, signs and signals were there that this was, if anything, a volatile situation at best, and surely a very complicated and expensive one as well. But we loved this baby, had named this baby, and, yes, we had told our children and our families about his pending arrival into our lives. And I loved her and her three children for the sacrifices they seemed to be making to do what was right for this unborn child.
Right now my emotions are raging from sadness to anger, disbelief to relief, and all points in between. I feel cheated, lied to and used. My heart feels blindsided while my mind is feeling a bit smug.
My greatest sadness is for Little Baby and his siblings who have been moved and shuffled about by their mother for who knows how long, going from place to place and from adoption situation to adoption situation. I pray that these kids and Little Baby will someday know stability and morality, safety and security. All we can do for them now is pray, and that's what I like to ask you, dear readers, to do for them. We'll be okay, we'll make it, we'll carry on and hopefully be matched again, but the outlook for these kids doesn't look too good. So please pray. Hard.
Thank you, and good night.
Praying. I am so sorry for this heartache. In the face of such extreme disappointment, I will pray for peace and for a miracle.
Posted by: Sarah | July 13, 2006 at 12:50 AM
Tina - I am so very sorry :(
My thoughts are certainly with you, your family, and especially the little one...stay strong!
Posted by: Erica | July 13, 2006 at 09:52 AM
So sorry for your saddness and for this family.
Posted by: Emma | July 13, 2006 at 04:17 PM
Oh, no! I'm so very sorry, Tina! :( I'll be keeping you in my prayers...
Posted by: Cynthia | July 13, 2006 at 05:44 PM
I am so sorry for you and your wonderful family.
I will do as you ask. Sending much love your way.
xoxoxo
Posted by: Martha | July 13, 2006 at 09:54 PM
I am crying for you and little baby...breaks my heart...can't imagine what you are going through...hugs and prayers sent your way.
Posted by: Kristi Smith | July 14, 2006 at 09:40 AM
Oh, Tina my heart and my prayers go out to you and your family I'm so sorry, that you all have to go through this and just know that I am thinking of you guys...Katherine...
Posted by: katherine | July 14, 2006 at 09:25 PM
Im so sorry. Ill be keeping you all in my thoughts.
Posted by: Teresa Olier | July 14, 2006 at 11:20 PM
Oh Tina, I am so, so SO sorry to hear this! My heart is breaking for you and your family. I'll be praying... let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Sending lots of love and hugs your way girlie.
xoxo,
Christy
Posted by: Christy | July 15, 2006 at 02:57 AM
I'm so sorry for the loss of the baby. I'll pray that the four babies will know stability and kindness soon.
Posted by: Casey Jankowski | July 15, 2006 at 05:32 PM
I will keep both your family and Little Baby's in my thoughts and prayers. No one who treats someone else with nothing but kindness deserves this. Especially not you. :) Donna
Posted by: Donna R | July 16, 2006 at 02:52 PM
Oh, Tina. I am SO SORRY. Hugs, friend!
Posted by: Kay Rogers | July 16, 2006 at 06:17 PM
Oh such sad, sad news - I grieve for you and your loss, and I'm praying for that baby that God has another purpose. Although I hope your prayers will be answered...and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
Posted by: Colleen E | July 16, 2006 at 09:59 PM
I'm sorry for your disapointment on all levels. Sadness for the loss of a future your family could have given this child, sadness for the birthmother who is so confused and her other children who are being "dragged-up" instead of "raised-up". Children who are at the mercy of their parents mistakes is a true tragerty. I pray for this unborn child's future, that God's hand will provide him the love he'll need. And peace for you and your family.
Posted by: Laurie | July 17, 2006 at 07:50 AM
oh my gosh, I am SO SO sorry! That is the most horrible thing I've ever heard! I'm praying for your family!
Posted by: joy madison | July 17, 2006 at 11:58 AM